[ Living In The Fairytale ]

Sunday, August 01, 2004

*Late night thoughts..*//

am actually dozing off anytime soon, but just tot i'll come up and post something first hehe.. filmed the video for yq today, hmmz.. actually i feel like doing a 2nd take haha.. but during the few min of filming, i was already feeling the impact of her leaving in 3 wks time.. catherine was saying i am either very tired or very sad, from the way i sounded.. it's a mixture of both lahz.. when i told peggy today that i am someone who locks away my memories too securely sometimes that i can't find them back again, it's true.. i find myself not able to remember lotsa things of the past, what had happened in sec, jc, in pri sch (ok that's pushing a little too far).. i didn't forget them, but it will take a very strong trigger to jolt them back into my conscious state again.. does that count as a form of memory loss? some kind of amnesia? hmmz.. ponder ponder.. tonight, during cg, i found back something precious, and i'm relieved.. i found back the love of God, i remember His love for me once more, something Clara said when she prayed made me realise something, i've been trying to build my spiritual life on what i know about God in my head, not in my heart, that's y i keep slipping in and out, time and again.. when we sang the worship song again, i just felt in my heart that the Holy Spirit is saying, He did everything He could for me, including giving His one and only Son to me, so that i will know that He loves me, so that i can totally accept His love without any feelings of guilt, or unworthiness.. indeed, God is holy, and i'm not above that, that i can't accept myself when He has already done so.. problems, situations, troublesome pple (haha..), they will still be around, but i wun b facing them alone, by prayers and the grace of God, i want to look past all these and really start searching and finding my destiny.. nitez~~

In The Fairyland On|8/01/2004 01:54:00 AM|